Many a resolution, never a plan.
Here we are, two weeks into the New Year. This is about the time when people begin to abandon their New Year’s resolutions; resolutions they didn’t really have the tools or spiritual power to keep in the first place. Every year we start out with the best of intentions, and every year we eventually fall back to our old ways. The explanations for this are myriad, but the reason is fairly straight-forward. A resolution without a specific plan of action, a method of accountability and in most cases plenty of step work (and help from a higher power) is doomed to failure.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says we “make many resolutions, but never a decision.”(From The Doctor’s Opinion). So what is the difference between a resolution and a decision? A decision has action based on it and action requires a plan. Below are some suggestions for how to choose the right resolutions for the upcoming year and how to develop a plan so you can actually achieve your goals.
Choosing a Goal
Now I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to take on goals that are either too big or way beyond my reach. I want BIG changes, but often big changes are not possible without making smaller changes first. Find something that is just outside of your abilities. That way you can experience some success without it being too difficult. Instead of going on a 60-day juice fast to lose weight (ugh… misery in a juice glass!) why not try to eliminate snacks for 30 days and walk for 20-30 minutes a day. Once you reach the 30-day mark you can set a new goal based on your progress.
Making a Plan
Many of our resolutions are based on trying to do things we have no experience with. This time, instead of trying to figure out what to do on your own, do a little research and see if there is a tested and tried plan already out there for the goal you want to achieve. Find a plan that has worked for others, that way your job isn’t to figure out what to do, it’s to follow a plan that has already been proven to work. It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how many times people give up because they don’t know what to do next and don’t want to ask.
Find a Hero
Another huge factor in your ability to stay on track is whether or not you actually believe that success is possible. Often times it feels like we are the only one who has ever faced the challenge in front of us, and when the going gets tough we start to wonder if there really IS a solution. The best way to remove this stumbling block is to find someone who has done the thing you’re getting ready to try. A friend, a person online… someone. Someone like you, who has actually faced this challenge and has been successful. This identification is the cornerstone of success in 12-step recovery and many other programs. If I believe we are alike, and you have achieved something I want to achieve, then if I do what you did then surely I can succeed too.
Find Some Accountability
Nothing is more likely to keep me on track than the knowledge that someone else knows what I am doing and is keeping up with my progress. It’s part of why Weight Watchers works. And AA… It’s the proper use of Ego. Having others know I gave up is more of a blow to my wellbeing than being uncomfortable while I work toward a new goal; so I keep going.
Access Your Higher Power
Let’s face it, if you had the ability to take the actions that your New Year’s resolution requires, you’d have already done it. In order to gain the power you need to take the needed actions, some spiritual work is going to be necessary. If you have fears about failing you can do some inventory work on them so that you can get a clear vision of what your higher power would have youin this area. Then, with a little prayer, a little meditation and some faith and courage you can begin to take the first necessary steps towards your goal. With each new step new fears arise and you can repeat the process. As you have faith and courage and take new actions you will begin to gain new experience, and the more experience you have the more attainable your goal becomes.
Not every resolution can be kept, and sometimes they just seem to be impossible because they take WAY longer to achieve than we had originally anticipated. But with a little thought, planning and commitment on our part and a little help from a Higher Power, almost anything can be achieved.